that was embarrassing

Man, embarrassing moments in public. When will they ever end? What do you do when your in one? How do you avoid it? When will you answer my questions!??

You know the moments I'm talking about. Like losing your balance in public because you tripped over a non-existent pebble. You slip your front foot and you start to topple like a cut-down tree before you regain your equilibrium by awkwardly wobbling your arms and feet like a crazy monkey trying to fight for a banana. And you usually finish by mumbling "SHIT!" to yourself, but you say it loud enough to attract the attention of nearby people. Then they give you a look as to say "I'm most likely not going to be your friend..." Then you try to scurry away from the scene before a familiar voice in the distance yells mockingly at you "I saaaaaawwwww thaaaat!"

What are you suppose to do in these predicaments? You could start to do the windmill and pretend you were breakdancing. Or you could just lay down and just stay there hoping people would stop laughing long enough to feel sorry for you. Whichever you choose, they will both end with someone calling the authorities.

I wanna try just blowing it out of proportion. Tripping over a crack in the pavement, then me turning around and abusing the footpath. "SHIITT!! What the hell happened!?? Oh my god, this could've been a disaster! I could have seriously been injured or DEAD! Someone has to do something about this safety issue! Think of the children!! Those council motherf..." And I'll rave on like this for about 2 hours before someone calls the cops or Today Tonight.

I'm also wary of waving in public. Especially to people that I've only met once before. You risk mistakingly greeting a person you thought was someone you knew but was really a stranger. So I'm there 20 meters from the person, and I'm waving and walking towards them, then as I get closer I realise it's not the person i thought i was waving to. But by then the person I was waving to has seen me waving at them, and of course they have no idea who I am and they're giving me the look as to say "I have a gun and if you come near me, I'm going to shoot your family". At this point i point at the distance behind them, and as they turn around to look at what it was i was pointing at, I run around the nearest corner and hide. This is usually dangerous to do at night because hiding around corners in the dark can get you...you know...murdered.

And I'm also in those situations where strangers wave at me. My natural response to this is to start waving back. Then as she gets closer i notice how cute she is and i have this stupid grin on my face while waving. The only word to describe that facial expression would be 'Duuuuurrrrrhhhhhgghhh'. And, of course, i realise too late that she was waving at the guy behind me. So I'm there waving with my duuurrrhhgh face making a complete ass of myself in public, while the cute girl walks off with another guy laughing at something (most likely me), and to top it off, I hear someone in the distance yelling "I saaaaaawwwww thaaaat!"