Train Ride

"Doors closing. Please stand clear"

Shit shit shit. Gotta run down these stairs. Damnit old lady, get out of the way! Stop being so old and slow! Should i push her down? If I don't I'm gonna be late for uni, but that would be a horrible thing for me to do. I would be charged for assault on an old lady, but if i get on the train noone would be able to find me...ahh crap, the doors already closed. Missed the train again. Yep, definitely going to push her down.

"Doors closing. Please stand clear"

I can't believe I actually waited half an hour for another train. That's 15 consecutive two-minute noodles!

"This train will now stop at Fairfield"

Okay, time to look for an empty row of seats. Great, all taken. Stupid people that I've never met before, selfishly taking seats when they know I want to sit down. Alright, there's a guy sitting on the aisle seat with an empty window seat next to him. Is he allergic to glass or something? Oh well gotta get past him. He will either get up off his seat and let me through, or be an asshole and make me worm my way through to the window. I'll just have to see what he'll do...damn it, he decided to be an asshole.

"This train will now stop at Yennora"

Oh my god, why is this train going so slow. Okay, I can see a car outside the window driving along the same direction as the train. The car is beating my train. The car is stopped at a red light. The car is still beating my train. The car is parked. Yes! My train is now winning! The man got out of his car and started walking. The  man is beating my train.

"This train will now stop at Guildford"

I'm only at Guildford!??

"This train will now stop at Merrylands...This train will now stop at Granville...This train will now STOP at Auburn...This train will now STOP at Lidcombe"

Shutup you stupid automatic speaker machine! Of course the train is going to "stop" at its next designated station. What else is it gonna do, a backflip!?

"This train will now stop at Strathfield"

I'm feeling so sleepy...I can take a power nap for 15 minutes, wake up at Redfern station, then be fully awake by the time the train gets to Central. Aha! My full proof plan can't possibly fail.

"This train will now stop at Central"

Zzzz..arggh? SHIT! Plan failed. And I think I just drooled all over the windows...C'mon man, let me out of the seat! Are you trying to get off the seat to let me through, or are you being an asshole and just wiggling your feet around 'cause you think 5 cms of walking space is enough to get be through? Like i thought, you're an asshole. Damnit, gotta ninja snake my way past here...and YES! my bag flew into your face!

"Doors closing. Please stand clear"

I'm rushing from my seat to the door. Only seconds left. Everthing around me slows. I can see the door quaking from its hinges. I exhaustedly leap for the opening that's rapidly closing me from the outside world  . I don't know if i can make it...oh shit, I made it. Well that's my exercise for the week.

Well that trip set me back a bit. I'm now late 15 minutes for my next lecture. Oh well, time to go home.