Moving to Tumblr

Hey all, just letting you all know that I'm moving to Tumblr and bringing over all my previous posts with me. I'll see how it goes and I might move back to blogspot. But for now here's the new sight

http://keepontypingblog.tumblr.com/

"keepontyping.tumblr.com" was already taken so I had to add the extra word "blog" into the site. So Tumblr, here I come.

Deadline

This is my process when dealing with assignments.

First, I write down on my calendar the date it is due.

This also involves mentally planning 2 weeks in advance which section I'm going to complete on different days, leaving me with enough time left to review and correct my work 3 times, and in 4 different languages.
I then proceed to completely forget all about this assignment for the next 2 weeks.

Only by the reminder of another clueless friend do I realise the impending doom of the assignment deadline.

Friend: Hey man, can I have a look at your assignment? And by look I mean copy.
Me: Wha?...What assignment?
Friend: The one due tomorrow.

My 2 week concise plan is now crammed into 12 well thought out hours without a single second to spare. I systematically divide the hours into workable blocks in which I can effectively complete my work. I then proceed to go on Youtube for the next 5 hours.

After wasting my time on pop culture, I now have to cram all my thought out plans into 8 frantic hours. I then realise that 12 minus 5 is actually 7 hours and that sleep is no longer an option for me. Sleep is for the WEAK!! and those that are sleepy.

So I begin writing out my report with renewed determination. The words start to fly out of my fingers and an insane speed of 2 words per minute. 20 minutes later, I log into facebook and read the many, many interesting and worthwhile updates. And by many, I mean none. Absolutely none.

The hours drag on and on and I slowly inch my way towards madness.

I then use the rest of my time to reach the minimum word count requirement by writing nonsensical crap that probably has nothing to do with the assignment, or even anything to do with anything on the physical plane of Earth. I then retreat to the comfort of a 40 minute sleep. And within this grumpy, disorientated state, I say to myself once again "Next time, I'll start my assignment early".

I have a lot of assignments thrown on me lately and hence deadlines are on my mind. The deadlines I'm thinking of aren't really academic though. I've read someone else's blog post a while back about what their new years resolution was. One of the points that stood out on her list was "Be Happy". I wondered if she gave herself a time frame to complete that resolution, or even how she would even define what 'being happy' meant. But I guess she would know what it would mean when she'd achieve it. I've still yet to have a moment in my life where I can say "I am completely content with everything happening right now". I don't know how long that moment will last, or if it even exists somewhere in the future, but I use to give myself deadlines on when I would have that 'moment'. So many deadlines and I couldn't meet any of them. It was disheartening every time, so I made myself stop giving out these imaginary time limits to myself. My birthday is coming up really soon and I think that's made me think about my deadlines again. I think it's gonna be another one I'm not gonna make. I don't know, maybe next time.

Nothing is Wrong

If someone were to ask
"what's wrong?" with a voice of sincere concern
This is what I would say
with all the honesty in my breath
"nothing is wrong"
And we would move on, smiling
comforted by our talk

If someone were to ask...
but they don't, no one asks
Only silent speeches
Words that come and go, that don't speak up
that don't stay

There are no words here,
none to hold up the scaffolding of my thoughts
Outside these corners, I hear them
the doubts of yesterday gathering
crashing into my walls, clawing their way in
They are angry at me,
they are blaming me

I am quietly here, muted
in this empty space of mine
Staring at the cracks in the walls
I feel them nearing, shattering
My strength is tiring away, and I don’t know why
Louder and louder they scream
I must fight back, I must...
but I can’t
I’m alone...I’m scared

In this empty space of mine,
I feel myself begging
"Please...fix me"
They’re closing in, breathing down on me
Breaking, Tearing, Suffocating
they won’t end
I blindly reach for an answer, anything that will hold me through this
I need to find it. I need it, I need it, I need it...

Then, everything stops
and all I hear is silence
Nothing
Not a memory to comfort me, not a reason to solace me
And that is all
When I am weak,
when I am in need,
when I foolishly wish for another chance at hope...
There is Nothing...only Nothing

With all the honesty in my breath
"Nothing...Nothing is wrong"